The Henry E. Panky Family

Unfair & Unbalanced:
The Lunatic Magniloquence of Henry E. Panky

Associate of Arts (candidate)



FOREWORD | AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY | DISCLAIMERS | CONTACT | DOWNLOAD THE BOOK



Existential Issues


Unfair & Unbalanced:
The Collected Works of Henry E. Panky

Revised, Expanded & Gently Ribbed
Free 1.4 MB PDF Book Download


The Crisis in Pubic Hair
An Anguished Polemic


Late Nights with Leatherman
The Meaning of My Dreams


Wounded Centaur of Love
One Man's Vasectomy


The Banana Test
A Parable of Expectations


They Call Me Malaka
Greeks Bearing Nicknames


Yes, I'm an Ivy Leaguer
9 Glorious Weeks at Brown University


O' Foreskin, Where Art Thou?
Get the feeling, something's...missing?


Dubious Tidings from the Big Behind
Sweet Rapture...with all the Trimmings


The Hallucinogen Years
"Have I ever been this fucked up?"


Something in the Danish
Power Play at the Managers' Meeting


I'm Still Missin' Mama
A Life without Breastfeeding


The Crisis in Penis Extension
Pundits Fear Subprime Conditions


Who Are We Anyhow?


The Vagaries of Passion
in the Long-Term Relationship


Mandago Bag
The Hard March to Puberty


Miasma of Desire


Search Engine of Love


Deciphering the Drain Salad Code


The Imbeciliad
Hankemus E. Pankemus of Troy!


Enlightenment & Death
White Light, Dark Chute



Meditations on Art


Pappy was a Cossack
Where Have You Gone, Taras Bulba?


The Insatiable Meat Cleaver of Bette Davis
One Very Scary Old Lady


That Obscure Pulsing Object of Desire
The Hunger of Vampires & Republicans


The Box Called War
John Denver, Poetry & Me


The Superior Man
Kerbourchard & his Walking Drum


Nearer, Sweet Odin, to Thee
Kitchen Table Wisdom of Vikings


Goodbye Mr. Limpet
Don Knotts on Method Acting


A Baby for Rosemary
Best Intentions & Damnation


The Wisdom of Shogun
On Executive Compensation


An Altered State of One's Own


Private Dick Mysteries


The Supreme Long Rifle Identity


U is for Unspeakable Evil
She Oozed Evil Like a Jelly Donut


Another Small Dirty Town
Vacation Snapshots


Additional Ponderables


Cracking the Pupa of the New Self


A Little Bag of Sopers
Helps the Medicine Go Down


Taking it Back!
Re-Org Meeting #5


Why the Sock Monkey Sings


Mr. Piggy-Doggy


Blind Pew's Story


Trapped in a Dean Koontz Thriller!
The End of Crazy Legs



Selected Letters


The Shorter Epistles
Bite-sized Pieces of Utter Nonsense


Meg, Genghis & Inky Dinky
Decision Time, Meg Ryan...


Ann Coulter
She-Hyena, Fattycakes & Friends


King of the Cuckolds
A Letter to John C. Reilly


Scarlett Johansson
Crossing the Bridge of Middle Age


Dave Barry


Meg Ryan
The Case for a Serious Relationship


Selected Shorts


An Apology to Our Readers
We Never Meant to Hurt Nobody


Photo Shoot
Showing the Love


Bits & Pieces o' This n' That
Nibble-Size Monkey Business


The Land of Neverbeen
The Patrick Carlisle - Henry Panky Interview


My Tater Exploded
Adios Compadre!


Bald-Headed Soul on Ice
The Final Frontier


The Last Anchovy
End Days


The Wendigo that Stalks America
An Invitation from the GOP


The Crisis in Nail Fungus


My Alien Fetus
The Holiness of New Life


An Inconvenient Penis
Goodbye to All That


Uncle Fred's Pig
A Beloved Excerpt from P.G. Wodehouse

 

 

 


UNFAIR & UNBALANCED

The Lunatic Magniloquence
of Henry E. Panky

Revised & Expanded in 2010!


Free Download of the Book!


"Unfair & Unbalanced...is a wry and captivatingly hysterical look at the baffling contradictions of modern life. Holding no hypocrisy sacred, chapters such as "O' Foreskin, Where Art Thou?" and "The Crisis in Pubic Hair" do not hesitate to push the envelope on human sexuality, while "Letter to Dave Barry" and "Letter to Ann Coulter" challenge other public figures in an eye-popping manner...hysterically funny..."

Midwest Book Review


UNFAIR & UNBALANCED

The Lunatic Magniloquence
of Henry E. Panky

Now Gently Ribbed for your Pleasure


Download the Book Free!


"Unfair & Unbalanced lives up to its title...and all of it is hilarious. Some of it even makes sense, and that is worrisome. Carlisle, as Panky, knows how to make people laugh...Not everyone will appreciate his efforts, or even get it, but who cares? He's doing this for sinners, intellectuals, welfare cheats & politicians...the ones who most need to read this work of brilliance. Thank you, Patrick/ Henry, you crazy bastard."

Fearless Reviews

 

 


"We live our lives skating on thin ice over the raging torrent of the subconscious."

Henry E. Panky, "Dating Tips for the Pre-Teen"






"There are quantities of those, who, no doubt, if filling out a questionnaire,
put 'Occupation, humorist,' but their pieces are thin and tidy and timid.
They find a little formula and milk it until it moos with pain."

Dorothy Parker


© 2003-2010 Patrick "Oily" Carlisle
Serial milker of the poor, lowing bovine

Inaugurated April 1, 2003