The Henry E. Panky Family

The Selected Works of Henry E. Panky

Associate of Arts, candidate



THE FOREWORD | AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY | IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS | CONTACT



Most Popular Pieces


The Crisis in Pubic Hair


Wounded Centaur of Love


The Banana Test


Late Nights with Leatherman


They Call Me Malaka


Yes, I'm an Ivy Leaguer


O' Foreskin, Where Art Thou?


Dubious Tidings from the Big Behind


The Hallucinogen Years


Something in the Danish


I'm Still Missin' Mama


The Crisis in Penis Extension


The Box Called War


Who Are We Anyhow?


The Vagaries of Passion


Mandago Bag


Little Bag of Sopers


Miasma of Desire


Search Engine of Love


Deciphering the Drain Salad Code


Enlightenment & Death



Meditations on Art


Pappy was a Cossack


The Insatiable Meat Cleaver of Bette Davis


That Obscure Pulsing Object of Desire


The Superior Man


Nearer, Sweet Odin, to Thee


Goodbye Mr. Limpet


A Baby for Rosemary


The Wisdom of Shogun


An Altered State of One's Own


Private Dick Mysteries


U is for Unspeakable Evil


Another Small Dirty Town


The Long Rifle Identity


More Important Stuff


Cracking the Pupa of the New Self


Why the Sock Monkey Sings


Mr. Piggy-Doggy


Taking it Back!


The Difference Between Men & Women


Blind Pew's Story


The Imbeciliad


Trapped in a Dean Koontz Thriller!



Selected Letters


Meg Ryan


Meg Ryan Letter #23


Ann Coulter


King of the Cuckolds


Dave Barry


Selected Short Letters


Ms. Johansson


The New Yorker


Selected Shorts


An Apology to Our Readers


Photo Shoot


Bits & Pieces o' This n' That


The Land of Neverbeen


An Inconvenient Penis


My Tater Exploded


Bald-Headed Soul on Ice


The Last Anchovy


More about the Jig


A YUM! Brands Man


Wingwango


The Crisis in Nail Fungus


My Alien Fetus

 

 

 


UNFAIR & UNBALANCED

The Lunatic Magniloquence
of Henry E. Panky


"Unfair & Unbalanced...is a wry and captivatingly hysterical look at the baffling contradictions of modern life. Holding no hypocrisy sacred, chapters such as "O' Foreskin, Where Art Thou?" and "The Crisis in Pubic Hair" do not hesitate to push the envelope on human sexuality, while "Letter to Dave Barry" and "Letter to Ann Coulter" challenge other public figures in an eye-popping manner...hysterically funny..."

Midwest Book Review, December 2004


UNFAIR & UNBALANCED

The Lunatic Magniloquence
of Henry E. Panky


"Unfair & Unbalanced lives up to its title...and all of it is hilarious. Some of it even makes sense, and that is worrisome. Carlisle, as Panky, knows how to make people laugh...Not everyone will appreciate his efforts, or even get it, but who cares? He's doing this for the sinners, intellectuals, welfare cheats and politicians...and they're the ones who most need to read this work of brilliance. Thank you, Patrick/Henry, you crazy bastard."

Fearless Reviews, December 2004

 

 


"We live our lives skating on thin ice over the raging torrent of the subconscious."

Henry E. Panky, "Dating Tips for the Pre-Teen"






"There are quantities of those, who, no doubt, if filling out a questionnaire,
put 'Occupation, humorist,' but their pieces are thin and tidy and timid.
They find a little formula and milk it until it moos with pain."

Dorothy Parker


© 2003-2008 Patrick Mushmelon Carlisle
Serial milker of the poor, lowing bovine

Inaugurated April 1, 2003