The Henry E. Panky Family

Unfair & Unbalanced:
The Lunatic Magniloquence of Henry E. Panky

Associate of Arts (candidate)


Essential Readings

Dubious Tidings from the Big Behind
Sweet Rapture...with all the Trimmings

The Hallucinogen Years

Something in the Danish

The Banana Test
A Parable of Expectations

Late Nights with Leatherman

Wounded Centaur of Love
One Man's Vasectomy

Yes, I'm an Ivy Leaguer

The Crisis in Pubic Hair

They Call Me Malaka

Enlightenment & Death

I'm Still Missin' Mama
A Life without Breastfeeding

The Imbeciliad
Shenanigans in Troy

The Vagaries of Passion

Mandago Bag

Miasma of Desire

O' Foreskin, Where Art Thou?
Something's missing.

Search Engine of Love

Deciphering the Drain Salad Code

A Little Bag of Sopers
on the Thruway of Love.

The Critical Works

That Obscure Pulsing Object of Desire
The Hunger, Vampires & Republicans

Pappy was a Cossack
Where Have You Gone, Taras Bulba?

Nearer, Sweet Odin, to Thee
The Vikings: Lessons for Modern Man

The Insatiable Meat Cleaver of Bette Davis
Remembering Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte

The Box Called War

The Superior Man

Goodbye Mr. Limpet

A Baby for Rosemary

The Wisdom of Shogun
On Executive Compensation

An Altered State of One's Own

Private Dick Mysteries

The Supreme Long Rifle Identity

U is for Unspeakable Evil

Another Small Dirty Town

The Dream Drawer

Who Are We Anyhow?

Cracking the Pupa of the New Self

The Difference
Between Men & Women

Taking it Back!

Why the Sock Monkey Sings

Mr. Piggy-Doggy

Blind Pew's Story

The End of Crazy Legs

The Crisis in Penis Extension

Selected Letters

Bite-sized Epistles

Meg Ryan, Letter #23

Ann Coulter

King of the Cuckolds
A Letter to John C. Reilly

Scarlett Johansson
Crossing the Bridge of Middle Age

Dave Barry

Meg Ryan
The Case for a Serious Relationship

The Shorter Works

On the Occasion of John's 6oth

An Apology to Our Readers

Photo Shoot

Bits & Pieces o' This n' That

The Land of Neverbeen
The Patrick Carlisle - Henry Panky Interview

My Tater Exploded

Bald-Headed Soul on Ice

The Last Anchovy

The Wendigo

The Crisis in Nail Fungus

My Alien Fetus

An Inconvenient Penis

Uncle Fred's Pig
An Excerpt from P.G. Wodehouse


Unfair & Unbalanced:
Collected Works of Henry E. Panky

Revised, Expanded & Gently Ribbed
Free 1.7 MB PDF Book Download

Unfair & Unbalanced:
Reviews on Amazon





The Lunatic Magniloquence
of Henry E. Panky

Revised & Expanded in 2011!

"Unfair & a wry and captivatingly hysterical look at the baffling contradictions of modern life. Holding no hypocrisy sacred, chapters such as "O' Foreskin, Where Art Thou?" and "The Crisis in Pubic Hair" do not hesitate to push the envelope on human sexuality, while "Letter to Dave Barry" and "Letter to Ann Coulter" challenge other public figures in an eye-popping manner...hysterically funny..."

Midwest Book Review


The Lunatic Magniloquence
of Henry E. Panky

Now Gently Ribbed for your Pleasure

"Unfair & Unbalanced lives up to its title...and all of it is hilarious. Some of it even makes sense, and that is worrisome. Carlisle, as Panky, knows how to make people laugh...Not everyone will appreciate his efforts, or even get it, but who cares? He's doing this for sinners, intellectuals, welfare cheats & politicians...the ones who most need to read this work of brilliance. Thank you, Patrick/ Henry, you crazy bastard."

Fearless Reviews



"We live our lives skating on thin ice over the raging torrent of the subconscious."

Henry E. Panky, "Dating Tips for the Pre-Teen"

"There are quantities of those, who, no doubt, if filling out a questionnaire,
put 'Occupation, humorist,' but their pieces are thin and tidy and timid.
They find a little formula and milk it until it moos with pain."

Dorothy Parker

© 2003-2014 Patrick Carlisle
Serial milker of the poor, lowing bovine

Inaugurated April 1, 2003